[contact]

[hellocomputer]

Scotty here. Can I help ye with something?

Comments

[hellocomputer]

i'll never tell







anyone about your two inches

don't worry lad

[illdrinktothat]

too late

[hellocomputer]

well don't tell anyone else, would ye? he's very sensitive

[murphypendleton]

breakin my heart, scotty

[hellocomputer]

oh i am sorry, dear. how can i ever make it up to ye

[murphypendleton]

i'll have to consult my divorce lawyer on that

[illdrinktothat]

you two can make this work

i believe in you

[hellocomputer]

murphy come back, ye know i can't live without ye

[murphypendleton]

oh sure, scotty

oh sure

[hellocomputer]

oh lad, ye know ye're the only one i've ever loved

don't end things this way

[murphypendleton]

well fine

what would i do without you, anyway

[hellocomputer]

never reach anything on the top shelves, that's for sure

ye wee menace

[murphypendleton]

i will hit you with my stepladder i ain't even joking

[hellocomputer]

frisky today are we

[murphypendleton]

oh you have no idea

[hellocomputer]

ooh mister pendleton

[illdrinktothat]

i'm just gonna be over here going now kiss

[hellocomputer]

been reading romance novels again lad

[illdrinktothat]

scotty you don't know me at all

but you should both check your inboxes, i found some ebooks. you can thank caro for letting me know this stuff exists.

[murphypendleton]

OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT AM I READING

[hellocomputer]

what in the world...

wait

caro told ye about these

[murphypendleton]

i can't with you two right now

just ssshhh, team whiskey dick

[hellocomputer]

now now, that's never happened to me who could ye be confusing me with

[illdrinktothat]

he's blinded by rage, he can't help it

[hellocomputer]

poor thing